and i don’t know what i’m doing nor do i know where i’m going.
i just know where i wanna be.

for the last few months i have been letting go of my inhibitions and letting life take its course.

stepping outside of my box has been scary…but running away from new things will leave me left with the same old same old, and i’m all about progression. so hey, rock with it.

today is mother’s day, and i have been overly thoughtful of my life, my future, and my future family.
It’s scary and uncertain since i am in no way close to being where i thought i’d be in my life when it comes to that aspect.

a lot of females get criticized for expressing that they want a husband, kids, and all that good stuff, but a lot of us do. i want to be the wife who gets up, gets her man’s clothes together for work, get the kids ready for school, and start breakfast then head off to my own job.

that’s just me. lot of people my age aren’t thinking about anything other than fucking, sucking, clubbing, and drinking. if that’s for you, then by all means, DO YOU. but me, i feel i’m too old for that. i’m trying to build a foundation for me and mine.

i had a talk with my mom and P.B. and both points of views gave me insight and made me realize a lot of things. i feel better about things not going as planned, because i know it just means something wonderful is going to happen when everything falls into place.
thanks for the talk. :)

so, starting tomorrow i am really going to get focused on ME. you can’t build a houe if you don’t have four walls, so i am gonna start working on my side of the frame, so when the time comes, me and that person can put things together and build our foundation.

this weeks focal points:

-redo resume
-career search
-call and fax in paperwork about my student loans
-look into nursing schools, even if i have to move to go…i need to do this. (i dont think i wanna be a CMA forever. tho…it wouldn’t be bad, we get paid quite well and its still the medical field. dunno, we’ll see)
-open a separate savings account just for future planning.

i think that’s enough for now.

so yeah, good night, God bless, and all that goodness.