love is a crazy thing, and you never know how to handle it until you are right in the middle of it all. me personally… i am there, and it was no easy stroll. i can say though, that since i am there, i’d do all i can to stay there, because i feel its worth it. we gave each other hell, both came with extra baggage, and our fair share of bullshit, but we fought through it, and things are great. if you can fight to gain something, why wouldnt you fight to hold on to it?
now, im not saying that a woman has to be a complete submissive fool, and overlook bullshit to hold on to what they feel is love… but if she can handle something, why not do so? i’ve had my fair share of conversations with people, about how some females handle their relationships, but who are we to say, “she’s a damn fool for puttin up with so and so and so forth…” ?
i’ve learned that being on the outside looking in, doesnt give you a good perspective on how someone deals with whatever it is that they are enduring. you may see two people in a relationship, know he is cheating, know that she knows, and call her a fool for not leaving him for doing so. but, what if she just genuinely doesnt care? what if she herself, is doing her share of dirt? what if, that situation just works for them? if a female is secure with herself, her man, and her relationship, maybe the sex side of things just doesnt bother her like most would think. that whole… “im wifey. i get all his time, love, and attention” type of thinking. some can handle that, some arent quite cut out for it. after having a long convo with a friend…i was asked if i could be that female. :lol: like i told her, “i’ll let you know if im in that situation…”
now… what if the person you love, got locked up and had to do about five years; could you be that woman who stayed and waited on him? if you really love that person, care about that person with everything that is within you, and everything between yall is going great, could you do it? is it worth it? some females can. they will write, they will visit, they will send money, answer phone calls, and do anything they can, because they have the heart, the love, and the strength to do so. but again…is it worth it? there is always a chance something can go wrong. a chance that he can come home and not be the same person he once was. but if you are on your game, you can keep him sane, keep him hopeful, and there is a bigger chance that nothing will change. there is always two sides to an “if“…
now, what if your man was a good man, a GREAT man… but everything just started going bad for him, and he fell on hard times. he cant find a job, has no place to stay, but with moms… his funds are low, gear a lil weak, and his hustle just aint movin no more. this doesnt mean he’s not trying, doesnt mean he’s hopeless, but do you have the hope and faith to struggle with him, help him, take care of him as much as you can until he gets back on his feet? some females will be quick to move him in, pay a bill, cook a meal, share some encouraging words, and there are some who feel as “if you arent doin just as much as me, if not better, why keep you?” that “you gotta be on my level” type mentality. nobody belives in strugglin’ and makin a come up together anymore…
but as i said before, im not saying that anyone should “settle for less“, become a fool for love, or just toss your standards out the window… but, just look at things from a totally different perspective when you come across these types of females, or dont run and hide if you think you’re becoming one of them. just remember that love is something thats hard to come by, and once you truely believe you have found it, dont be so quick to give up on it, if you can handle something other may “look down” on, then do YOU. who the fuck are they? 9 times out of 10, they are stuck in a fucked up relationship, and are unhappy themselves. nobody is perfect, and life is no fairy tale, folks. times are changing, and getting tougher. learn your strengths…
im going to watch a movie with mines…
goodnight.
Olivia Says:
woo… first to comment. i see how you are with “love”. no one could understand why i was with my last boyfriend. they thought i “settled”, but while they had to keep calling their man to see where he was at… have scream fits, rumors circulating, & eventually wreck his car. me & my man were chillin. i mean it wasn’t all rainbows, because of his insecurities, but we were in love & happy… most of the time lol.
Olivia Says:
woo! first comment. yeah i feel you on most of what you said. people used to criticize me for being with my last dude. they figured i had “settled”, but while they were continually fighting, crying, & wondering… me & my dude were chillin. it wasn’t all rainbows, but we were in love so we tookt he punches. eventually his insecurities drove a wedge between us, but… we had almost 7 happy months together.
WM Says:
omgosh i love your entry. i used to site back an wonder why my mom always put up with my dad’s BS til i got older and just saw that it was because she was in love. my mom waited for my dad to get out of prison all while raising his kids and struggled with him when he was down. she also stood by him when he fathered other kids out of wedlock. i see now that when you have so many good times and history it really doesnt matter what the person does. i see now that i am in a great relationship that you have to look past certain things especially if they arent disrespectful. i fell in love with a great man that i met while he was down on his luck and now he is taking care of me. i think if everyone was in arelaionship fothemselves and not for everyone else the divorce rate would be much lower. just my lil 2 cents
Shannon Says:
You know I’m happy for you!
Trecia Says:
Well written, I feel you on this topic
♥Sweets Says:
It’s like you said who are we to judge, we don’t know whats going on behind closed doors. There’s two sides to every story … somewhere there a medium that is the truth.
No relationship is perfect, you have gotta pick n choose your battles and decide what is most important to you what can you live with or without.
I’m probably not making sense LoL
My cousin and I were just having a convo about relationships and these are some conclusions that we came to.
Most important is as long as you are happy that is all that matters.
Justin Says:
Love is a wonderful thing. It makes us blind yet gives us sight. Hold on to it.
Jhaye Says:
Boy if I can say AMEN on this blog, I’mma say it, lol! I had a friend, like back when we were COOL, she’d tell me her “boy problems” and I’d tell her mines. However, I’ve been w/ the father of my child for 3 years as where as she boy-hopped. She never had a real boyfriend so she don’t know what love is. Anyhoo, being on the outside looking in, she’d always tell me I need to leave him, this and that and I used to think why the fuck is she telling me this shit when she hasn’t even experienced LOVE forreal, forreal to tell me what to do w/ my relationship. Tis is probably the reason she can’t keep a dude and always fucking somebody’s boyfriend bc she don’t know. I stopped telling her my business. But this blog is the truth!
ashhh Says:
Hey girl. You know. I love how you expressed this topic. I mean, no one could’ve said it any better or clearer. It hope that someone in the struggles will read this & be inspired. Because I know I am. I mean, we go through SO MUCH for our guys and it’s something as simple as honesty. You know? Something more than that = Loyalty. Love is a strong thing to live by & hell I’ll do it over again if I had the chance to. But, now that i’m far into it. I’m happy where I am. I REALLY love the way you put LOVE into words. I mean, it makes me BELIEVE :) There will be a rainbow at the end. Ok, i’m going corny! hahaha. Take care hun! by the way, I LOVE YOUR SITE & Your baby (daughter) is cute ;)
Tamela Says:
wow i’m happy for you, Love is a a good thing but being IN LOVE is one of the most special, spectacular feeling you can ever experience!
Tamela Says:
oh i forgot, do you wanna exchange links??
miss O Says:
Ahh I love the way you use your words girl, I think you should always look at things in two ways, and like you said, mayby those girls can live with it, still in my opinion, people shouldn’t cheat, well..not when you tell each other you “love” oneanother, when you cheat, you should have some other kind of relationship, ohh well let just say, when both of them don’t mind, then it isn’t a problem, but when one person is cheating the other, and the other don’t and get hurt because of it, then it’s bad, and I think the person needs to leave him/her
the other things about is it worth it to stay with him when… I’ve thought about that, and yeah actually I don’t know, I’m very faithfull to my man, and I think that would depend on the way he’s dealing with it, if he’s talking to me like, baby please wait for me, and when he let’s me know that he really..really cares.. I would, but if he just don’t really shows me he cares, I wouldn’t.. hmm..
Shoowjoitte Says:
Hi.
Good design, who make it?