i wish you’d vibe with that, feel the words, feel me… understand.
step outside of yourself and see how much i love you
because i don’t know what else to do
and im tired of talking, wasting air
nothing more can be said, what more can i do
im tired, im exhausted, and i have to rest
competition is not my thing
begging is not my forte
i don’t want to feel stingy, needy, or clingy…
but please don’t LOSE me, i can’t be replaced
there is no insurance on me.

im afraid, because i know i care, but i’m feeling like i don’t want to anymore
scared that i’m falling out of love with you
i love you, but i’ve spent so much time being in love with you
and for long it has seemed fruitless, reward less, just exhausting
i don’t want to nag, or feel like i bother you
and when i do, i feel bad about it. why?
because someone is always going through a struggle that i may not see
but if you would talk to me and tell me, i’d know, right?

now I’m fighting myself because i care, but i feel as if its not as much
i love you, but maybe not how you love me
maybe that’s becoming equal now
because i think I’ve always loved you more
more than you’ll ever know
more than anyone that you know
even though you let them overshadow it

why do i feel bad about how i feel, when you’re messing up?

repeated. a million times plus 4.

that felt good. i may do this again. :cute:

ps. i find it amazing how no one knows who this “him” is, yet they all wanna compete with him for my attention.
psch. why is that?

i dream of things that may never come true
i wish for things that may never be
i’m holding on by a thread
i understand my confusion
i am in love with love
and i’m fine with that

the future is scary, but i know i have to work towards it
you never know whats going to happen but you have to let it happen
i’ve set a plan in motion not knowing how it will turn out
and i’m fine with that

partially influenced, not knowing whats on the other side
kinda caught up in a fantasy, but my reality is there
i’m alone, but then again, i’m not
i may be in this alone, but then again, i won’t be
in due time, in whatever fashion, with whomever
and i’m fine with that

i won’t rush my destiny, but sometimes we just “have to force it”
nature knows best though.
;]

(don’t phuck me over nature, i’m banking on you !)
whatever, where ever, whoever, whenever you have what you have for me, better be good, lady…

there’s a plan for all of us.
a plan for me, a plan for you, a plan for us, a plan for we
nobody knows what that may be
i dont know what im doing half the time
but unlike most, i’m fine with that.

lifted.free.happy.weightless…at peace.

this has been a long time coming…
and i’m fine with that.

playing: janelle monae – you

i’m feeling so… ahhhsome as of late. ;]

buenos noches.

p.s.

i so wanna bite him -.-
lol, mayne…

People always say to act your age. Shit, I’m only 23. *takes note*

What you think you really want and really need, may not be what you need at all. So how do I stop craving it? How can I tell the difference?

Jealousy is a valueless trait, but I feel myself experiencing that emotion a lot. I don’t know why though, none of them can be n-e-s-a… guess I’m just stingy, especially when I’m not back in my comfort zone. Shit, I still question myself when it comes to dialing those numbers without prior consent. still don’t know when that happened.

i want my spot back, but shit…is it available?

Always trying to make some we time, when we both need me time

didn’t I say I was gonna stop over thinking? Shit, guess I cant help it. Maybe I need to speak up about things more. Nah, not my place.

Ahhhh, now I remember why my relationship was so convenient. Distractions !

funny how you and another female can be feeling the same shit, agreeing on the same shit, bout the same…damn…nigga. ouch.

You know, you could know that you could be the best thing for somebody, doesn’t mean they want ya ass. Lmao.

Speaking of which, if this were another time, and another situation, in another place, I could make him so happy. Dah well…

Its funny how the same love songs, the same heartbreak, the same emotion, the same stress that you feel for someone, they can be feeling it right along with you. LMAO, for someone ELSE !
Zing !

speaking of which !
aint it funny as hayulllll
how you can think something was so totally about you, and it aint?
fit you, but it don’t
can be, but it won’t
but i KNEW it. handled it like a cham-peen !
cookie cutter emotions?
maybe you were reaching?
replaced perhaps?
nah… right?
sometimes i wonder lol
would explain it !
fuckT up.
maybe i’m just looking for answers.
maybe i want something to be about me.

damn. attention whore perhaps?

I actually laughed out loud at that one right there.

Fake as friends
Lame ass lames
Nobody gets me
I wish my homie was here

wouldn’t it be nice if you could get the “buddy and the booty” ? she says jokingly.
Ha… i really didnt laugh tho !

Sometimes I think I’m annoying and irritating as fuck.
Ah well, I mean well tho…

Bitchy? Me?
So what, suck my dick.

i wonder if jamil got my message the other day?

Uhhh…
Its good to dream, but shit, when will I wake up?

Why do people never how amazing I really am? And if they do they still don’t appreciate it until its too late or I’m gone.
Not a complaint, just a realization.

i wish i could go with shan tomorrow :(

What the hell was I thinking about earlier that almost had me in tears?
I wonder if he noticed. Probably wasn’t paying attention.
Lol, I did suck that shit up quick though

i’m not cocky, or concieted. maybe a lil over confident in my way of thinking lately, but fuck if i aint earned it. i’m goin after mine.

fuck…all…that…shit…and…fuck…all…yall…too
lmfao, said it just like that ALOUD.
you better realize that.

Y’all do know tears don’t change shit?

lmfao. wtf did this text come from? new phone, no saved numbers. who in the hell???
its the country boy. should have known LMFAO. so fuckin random yo… (i was pondering that shit til i saw the area code)
my faves minutes used to go to good use when we were cool cool
i still say va sucks. population: me & you ass city. lol.
imma get my ass kicked….

sooo back to my thoughts…

Out of all the kisses…
Neck, forehead, cheek, shoulder, etc…
My lips have not felt another set of lips in forever.
That’s sad.
That’s a sign. Lmao.

am i becoming heartless?

“when a good girls gone bad, she’s gone forever”
damn, new blog coming soon…

I think lack of affection is driving me nuts. So much love to give and no one to share it with.
Its like my heart has blue balls lmao.

LMAO.

Okay, I must be sleepy.

When shit happens and you seem to not care, or you shrug your shoulders, or you just go “eh” or “=/”
You have reached “whogivesafuckphoria”

Not caring feels good, unless you really do care

I had more than a few good moments today.
Little things make me happy.
;]

i wonder when i think things, or say things out loud to you, do you hear them? lmao. that would be on some nextlevelhellyeahness!

Nesaspeak! aint that what kanTRE west called it? lmao, me likes. (lmfao, name came from that video) corona and singin dont mix! but it sure entertained me. i think that guy is HEElarious !

Plus I got my new phone today. Its dopeness.

I gotta find a way to start getting some sleep. This is out of hand. Maybe I’ll try the old way. Idk. I don’t feel like I’m there yet. slow and steady, i’m not goin nowhere.

Yeah, I’m enjoying the scenery. Letting things pass in slow motion.

i’m good, i’ll stay that way.

imogen heap !
i just want to put my head on her lap so she can rub my hair and sing to me.
i love this weird, big-hair’d, pale woman.

her music puts me in a place where chaos could surround me, but i’d still be smiling.

this song, helps me breathe…

this will be the only song i play for a few days…maybe.

i love music. if i could turn it into a man, i’d marry it.