I’ve you haven’t noticed, my llast post is no longer there. Why, you ask? Well, simply because it was a crock ‘o shit.

Seriously, who was a fooling? If there is more than one person involved in anything, there is going to be a damn situation, and you have to consider everybody. That’s all imma say about that.

The other part, I won’t get into at all.

Hi, my name is Nesa, and I don’t know shit. I don’t know where I’m headed, but at least I know I’m headed in the right direction. I don’t know who I’m going to end up with, but i know we’ll both be happy. I don’t know when it’s all supposed to happen, but i know it will happen in due time.

I do know that life and love is not supposed to be easy by any means, but it is supposed to be simplistic. There shouldn’t be all this extra bullshit. I don’t want to be in anything where its swimming in doubt. Its okay to be unsure, but if you doubt anything, then wtf… why bother. I also don’t want to be walking into something with tons of baggage. Nobody’s gonna be at ease with any type of unresolved issues hanging over our heads. Yes, reality.

Call me indecisive. I don’t give a shit. I jumped the gun on my emotions without thinking it through. At least I thought about it. I already have issues. We all can’t be crazy and unstable.

And I’m paying people close attention, because it seems as if people are liking me for the wrong reasons. Great if you love my ass, hell I love it too, but I am more than that. I gotta watch how i respond to certain things when I like people, because that would just aid in their lust for me. I can get anybody to lust over me. That’s not what I’m looking for. Who gives a fuck about the physical. Fine, we all want someone who is easy on the eyes, can turn a few heads, but what about what’s in their hearts? Mental stability, compassion, real emotions, intelligence. Get it together.

That conversation I just had, did not go the way I thought it would, but I guess I just got some closure. I feel different now. Just as I did when I got up the other day. Who knows what will happen now. We’ll see.

Epiphany. I need to get shit together.

Everybody is working on themselves, eh? Well, my shit is pretty much together. I just need to learn how to handle my emotions better. That’s my problem. Chasing dreams when they aren’t supposed to be anything other than dreams.

one two, one two…
some dreams stay dreams, some dreams come true…

Some people really are still dreaming. Think it’s time for me to wake the hell up.

No more planning. My plan, is not to plan. Just gonna let shit roll.