So, I did another video blog. This one, I actually watched because I know I am losing my mind. I’ve been venting, I’ve been tripping, I’ve been over reacting to everything, but it’s because I’m miserable. I’m in love alone, so it makes me hurt, and when I’m hurt with no help in healing, I lash out. I just think I need to get it all out so I can get some inner peace. I’ve realized that throughout all this, I have never been okay, but I sure as hell acted like I was. My name isn’t halle, and I’m not actress. There are no cameras, no director, no one yelling “action!”, so no more acting. I’m going to feel what I feel. All this insanity is from me bottling up emotions. This… is contents under pressure exploding all over what used to be my fully functional and rational mentality.

Some of the things I said in this video, I most certainly meant, but maybe not the way I said it.

The threats, well yeah… I’d really want to, but if things went down that way, I’d be so hurt and disgusted that I’d never be able to look you in your face again, so none of that would happen.

I feel like an insane bitch when I watch this video. Usually things like this I wouldn’t share with anyone, but I think this will help me heal. At this moment, in this point in time, I am crazy. Crazy as hell and it’s not just my fault, its your fault. Yours, yours, and yours. I’m nothing but loving, caring, devoted, dedicated and providing. I have my moments where I may be difficult or get on your nerves, but who doesn’t? Why am I not loveable? What do I do that makes you not want to be with me? Why am I only good for you when it benefits you? Why am I never good enough? Why am I always in competition? Why do I have to suffer because some females who didn’t deserve you, weren’t ready for you, took your heart and fucked it over? Am I nothing more than a phat ass and a cute face? Am I the one you love, or is it my assets? Can a convo be a real convo without it including my ass, sex, or your fantasy? Do you know my worth, or do you really think I’m cheap? Do you think I’m really fucking stupid? Why??

But in the end, guess what?
you’ll always be able to use this line: “Nesa, you’re not my girlfriend.” And I’m not. We’re both single now, right? Reality…

**And you, right at this moment, you are boldfaced lying to me and you know it. I sir, am not boo boo the fucking fool.
Sorry, had to add that because this nigga is fucking full of it right after i fucking get up. Anyway.

The written vent is just a lot of shit for more then one person. If it applies to you, you’ll know. Whatever, there’s the video.